riding a seesaw life

Update? eh I’m fine. learning to live alone again. and that’s fine.  When you’re happy in your head then you’re happy in your life, and I’m finally figuring out many things that I love, that I’ve learned, and that I have gained.  Like, It’s not scary to walk alone at night if you know the way, and have the “don’t fuck with me” on face  when a creepy guy passes you, whose probably drunk. I’ve begun to notice the things that bug me, and the things that used to but don’t anymore.  For a while I felt as if I’ve been cold, but it’s only because I’ve been living in my head for a while.  I’ve noticed that I have neglected people who I truly care about, such as my family and old friends.  I’ve noticed that my heart isn’t as big as it used to be, and that saddens me, but it also makes me think. “why spend so much time worrying about people who shouldn’t be the biggest issues in your life?"
 and that how i have a thousand enemies and haters, but then have that one friend, who is worth those thousands.
life is like a seesaw, you got to balance it right, or else you will end up crashing down :)

 

i miss hugs

I miss hugs
I miss warm hugs
I miss the ones that make you feel all fuzzy inside
I miss the ones that make you feel so happy that you could just stand there forever
I miss selfless ones, where someone is just hugging you for you with no other intentions but to hug you.
I miss hugs that are given by my mom and my dad that just feel like home, like when you were a kid and their arms were the only thing that fixed all the scrapes and boo boos
I miss hugs from long lost friends
I miss hugs from past lovers and the feeling you get when you know that they don’t want to leave you for far off places.
I even miss those awkward hugs that people go for because they thought you intended a hug instead of a hand shake.
I miss hugs,  nowadays I don’t get enough. :/